The last of the V12 Engines

If Trevor Jones’ iconic soundtrack from the Last of the Mohicans came to mind, consider yourself a legend. It’s exactly those feels we have right about now as we sing an ode to the mighty V12 engine, who’s apparently on the way out of the automotive world and into what existential superstructure exists beyond fenders and benders.

Alas, our 12-cylinder pal’s hanging up the pistons while on a high, a sentiment comparable, perhaps, to the Bulls’ sixth championship. Could they have gone for the seventh? Sure. But management thought otherwise, and pulled the plug on one of basketball’s greatest ever teams.

What makes a V12 so revered?

It is without a doubt that this special feat of engineering will go down as one of the greatest ever innovations in automotive history. And there are plenty of reasons why.

First, let’s think about the structure of the V12. Here we have 2 V6 engines arranged around a common crankshaft, and considering the V6 enjoys perfect balance, both primary and secondary, it’s only natural that the V12 will be twice as smooth. No wonder luxury car manufacturers signed the V12 up long before it was recognised for its sporting prowess.

Smoothness aside, the V12 takes home the plaudits for producing more power at any given capacity than its V8 or V10 counterparts. Let’s delve further into this for a second. A V12 engine has smaller moving parts, less reciprocating mass, which translates to higher revs and voila: more power.

And then, there’s the sound. Oh glorious sound. If there’s one thing we’ll miss in the EV-era, it’ll be the almighty wail of Lambo’s V12 L539 engine announcing itself on the motorway (hear me, hear me!). Maximum boss points for the howlin’ wolf looking to tear them EVs apart, and don’t even THINK about those gimmicky farty mods that sound NOTHING like an original V12.

Why some would say it’s the right thing to do

Okay, let’s lend some objectivity to this piece by coming back to our Chicago Bulls example from above. It’s June 14th 1998, Utah have forced the series into game 6. A tired, battered Bulls drag themselves into the away arena for one last bite at the apple. Jordan hits the jump shot, Bulls win, and that raises the question. Can we go for a seventh championship? Do we stop here and rebuild?

The same can be asked of the V12. Let’s take the Mercedes GT 63 S Coupe and pit it against the S65. The former has a 4.0L V8 engine and is only a fraction less powerful than the V12-equipped S65. Then again, the GT 63 is more fuel efficient and can be hooked up to a modern nine-speed gearbox, as opposed to the S65, whose marriage can only be arranged with the old-fashioned seven-speeder in Mercedes’ arsenal that will take the torque.

Furthermore, the V12 would be significantly heavier than the V8, and this in turn would signify a higher power-to-weight and torque-to-weight ratio, which leads us to wonder if the S65 really is fractionally more powerful than the GT 63.

Bottom line

So really, why V12? Simple. It’s all about the status. It’s about telling your mates at your car club that you’ve got 12 cylinders under the hood. It’s like the red carpet, you could get away with an off-the-rack from Zara, but at that moment, you don’t care about economising. You want to tell the press that you’re decked out in Hugo Boss attire.

So really, it doesn’t matter that the S65 is hooked up to a seven-speed gearbox. Heck, it barely needs 3 gears, so smooth it is. The bottom line is, no matter what car you’ve got, if you can pop the hood up and show off the beautiful 12-cylinder marvel, you’ll cement your place in carlore. Just like having prime time Jordan in your team (boo you Wizards).

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